Living with Locked-In Syndrome is as exciting as you have probably already imagined. At first, it was hard to accept and deal with the big issues like not: walking, talking, being able to use my hands, eating normal food (more on that later), etc., but I got used to these things for the most part after a while. It’s the little stuff that bugs me and I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to.

The first thing is having something start itching and then not being able to scratch it. The worst is my nose, it’s constantly giving me grief. Did you know that the average male adult scratches his nose 30-40 times a day? Actually, I just made that up but I’ll bet it’s a lot! Jen scratches my nose sometimes without my even asking her. She says that I just get ‘that look’, which I find to be quite remarkable since my face is completely void of expression. (She must have ESP.) Another area of my face that acts up from time to time is the ‘moustache area’ (technical term). My eyes frequently water up and burn so then Jen wipes them with a Kleenex. Also, the skin beneath my eyebrows gets dry, flaky and itchy every so often. Ewww, gross. Whoever heard of eyebrow dandruff? Finally, my scalp gets itchy when my hair gets long. By ‘long’ I mean > 3cm., I like to keep it high and tight. No muss, no fuss. Man, I’m a mess. I need some Gold Bond for the Face up in here!

I love summertime, warm weather and being outside. Who doesn’t? To me, and probably everyone else on the planet, perfect weather is when the temperature is between 75 and 84, the skies are clear with maybe some fair weather clouds and the humidity is 55%. In other words, a lot like the weather we’ve having here lately. I like the smells of summer – BBQ grills and freshly cut grass. I also like the sounds of summer – lawnmowers (far off), dogs barking (also far off). I would also probably like the sound of kids playing outside if kids actually played outside anymore. But do you know what else likes the outdoors? Bugs. There’s not much worse than a fly or other insect treating your face like a rest area. It’s torture, it’s worse than waterboarding! OK, I’ve never actually been waterboarded but I saw them do it in Zero Dark Thirty and it looks pretty uncomfortable. Another insect that can dampen my afternoon is a mosquito. Watching one feast on your forearm for about 10 minutes is no picnic. Well, it is for the mosquito (rim shot). One time a few years ago, a wasp landed on my arm and no one was near enough to see it and shoo it away. Jen was inside sleeping on the couch because she had a terrible hangover. Luckily, he (not positive about the sex of the wasp) just walked around and scoped things out for a minute and then flew away. Whew! I never was too afraid of bees and wasps, I just had a healthy respect for them, but it’s a different ballgame nowadays.

To be continued…