On the rare occasion when I actually get out of the van and go in Costco or wherever with Jen when we run errands, we undoubtedly run across (not literally)  a small child or two.  When we do, almost always kids never fail to be kids and they gawk or point at me, while their mothers apologetically pull them away, because in most cases they’ve never seen a guy in a wheelchair before and they’re just naturally curious and are (sometimes) brutally honest!  It doesn’t bother or offend me at all, in fact, I try to have fun with it.  As best as I can and with Mommy not looking, I try to make a face and snarl at them.  This usually earns me a shoulder jab from Jen who says, ‘Quit scaring that little kid and trying to make him cry!’

Not everyone who sees and is unintimidated by us is 5 years old.  One time several years ago at Costco (yes, in fact that is my favorite place – great big wide aisles), this elderly woman approached us and asked all sorts of questions about my very obvious condition and how our lives have been affected.  I started to yell at her to mind her own damn business but Jen stopped me before I really got irate.  Actually, neither one of us mind talking to anyone who asks us about our situation, Locked-In Syndrome, strokes, etc.  Turns out, that lady was a retired ICU nurse and she was very comfortable around me and probably with many people with all kinds of conditions.

Another time we were in Costco (yes, Costco), and this lady walked up to me and started telling me about how her friend was in a situation similar to mine, etc., etc., etc.  It was one of those rare times when I was left alone in public, Jen went down an aisle by herself to look for something.  Anyway, I felt bad for this lady because she didn’t realize right away that I couldn’t talk.  She asked me a couple questions and was left befuddled by the weirdo in the wheelchair who was blinking his eyes like a psycho.  Jen returned momentarily, took the words out of my mouth and restored order to my world.

—Full Disclosure—
Alright alright, time to come clean.  Big, wide open aisles aren’t the only reason I like Costco.  They happen to have a great selection of good quality, fresh cut flowers.  At least compared to the other two places we frequent often – Shop n’ Save and Wal-Mart.  OK, go ahead and laugh.  I happen to like fresh flowers.  Hey, if I have to sit here all day then the kitchen is gonna smell nice and I want something to look at from time to time besides the backyard.  Locked-In Syndrome has to be good for something! 

Speaking of LIS being good for something, when I do decide to go into the store we get a really good parking spot thanks to the ADA of 1990 (Americans with Disabilities Act).  Several years ago Jen and I went on a field trip down to the History Museum in Forest Park.  They were having an exposition showing the history of people with disabilities in this country, highlighting the ADA.  It was pretty interesting I guess but it was awful hard to maneuver in there and I’m fairly certain that some of the other visitors thought I was one of the exhibits!  My main takeaway from that was that you were better off to have a brainstem stroke in 2006 than to be born with polio in 1926.

Overall, dealing with the general public…  well…  sucks  (I should know, like most people I’ve worked in Retail).  90% of the people we encounter think we’re invisible and just ignore us (we’re perfectly OK with that), 9% of the people go out of their way to avoid us and uncomfortably look away but the remaining handful of people actually engage us in conversation and hold doors open for us.  I feel that the reason why a lot of people distance themselves from people who use wheelchairs is because they’re not used to being around people like me very often.  That’s probably because getting out and going places is kind of a big production for us, I don’t just hop in the car and run up to QT in five minutes.  (Sidenote:  How did any of us survive Christmas shopping in the pre-internet era?  How miserable was that?) 

 I’m starting to ramble now and I just checked the title of this post to see what it is even about so I guess that’s my cue to wrap it up and quit imitating a Chatty Cathy doll.  Talk to you later!