Much like the Armchair Quarterback, the guy who coaches his team every Sunday from the recliner in the living room while drinking beer and eating potato chips – I consider myself to be the Wheelchair Philosopher, the guy who’s sat around in his kitchen every day for the last seven years and thinks he knows a lot about life.
Here are a few of the things bouncing around in my head besides “Who’re the coaches gonna be on The Voice next season?” and “I wonder how many goldfish we have in our pond nowadays?”:
What’s the rush? The altar isn’t going anywhere
As a general rule of thumb, I think that young people should wait to get married until they’re in their late twenties or even early thirties. I feel that a marriage has a better chance of being “good” when the people going into it are pretty mature. Years ago, Jen and I ran into this girl at the baseball game that she went to high school with – Jen recently heard that she had just gotten divorced for the 3rd time before the age of 40! Talk about bad luck – yikes! As with any rule there are some exceptions, of course. I’m sure there are some 21 year olds out there that are old souls and are perfectly suited to enter into a marriage. The bad thing is that the older I get, the younger they seem. They’re just children! Generally speaking, I feel that people should wait until they’re older to get married.
Personally speaking, I didn’t get married until I was 35 which was probably a little late (just ask Jen!). Hey, it wasn’t my fault that it took forever to meet my wife! Using my clock I’d have had started a family at age 57 and my kids would be getting out of high school when I’m in my late seventies. I’d be ready for the nursing home in a few years probably and I want my kids to put me in a really nice (expensive) one but , they’re not old enough yet to be able to afford my tastes! I’d better revisit my plan.
Another problem with my philosophy – I like seeing young married couples with a handful of little kids. I think it’s great for kids to have parents that are youthful and energetic enough to be able to a lot of things with them. The problem is, you can’t (shouldn’t) really start a family at 23 and then not get married until you’re 31. It’s a ‘Catch-22’ situation. Looks like I might have to change my line of thinking.
—Commercial break—
We heard this the other day and it just cracked us up. It’s my new favorite phrase: On the radio Randi Naughton said, ‘I’m so sick of hearing about Justin Bieber, he needs to drive the bus on the Go Away Tour.’
And we’re back. OK, where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about leading a happy life. On that subject, these are my:
Keys to Happiness??
Health: You know the saying ‘At least I’ve got my health.’? Well, I think there’s a lot of truth to that. Everything in your life can be going great but if you’re seriously ill and feel like crap all of the time then that really doesn’t matter.
Relationships: If you have a terrible marriage or don’t get along with your kids or other loved ones, then that takes front and center stage in your life. No matter how good everything else is going for you, that seems to be all you think and talk about – it totally hijacks your life.
Financial Well-being: Living hand to mouth and barely scraping by to pay the bills takes its toll on people and will run their lives. Constantly barely getting by can make an otherwise happy person unhappy.
I feel that if these three things are firing on all cylinders for someone then that person can be considered to be “Happy”.
Yeah, I realize I’m coming off sounding like Mr. Know-it-all. Like I said though, I have a ton of time on my hands so I can just sit around and wonder about stuff. Having this blog gives me a forum to express my thoughts and put some of them down on “paper”.
So, what do you all think about this stuff? Do you agree with what I said? Some of it? None of it? Am I completely off base? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
lockedinjim 
Jim
A lot of truth to your statements and I agree with them.
Another rule of mine for a happy life. Know what you like/don’t like, and don’t let others influence your choices. For example, I know darn good and well I hate housework, taking care of a yard, doing home improvements, etc., When I owned a house, I lived a life filled with guilt because rather than do what needed to be done around the house, I chose to ignore it to do what I really felt like doing which was travel, shop, Soulard on a Saturday morning, run out of town for the weekend, etc., Therefore I was always feeling bad. NOW, I know myself well enough to know that I’m not cut out to be the homemaker everyone else is; I choose to rent instead of own. I live close to work so I have a super easy commute and don’t waste time in traffic like the old days. Now yard work, home repairs, owning a bunch of knick knacks and furniture and belongings are all things I don’t do or have and I LOVE IT!! I don’t have to feel guilty anymore if I’d rather spend my Saturday reading a great book rather than planting flowers or pruning a garden.
I know I’m probably in the minority with this, but the point is know and follow your strengths. You’ll be a much more satisfied person for it!
Jim, the only thing I disagree with is that I believe in waiting till your 45 to get married. I gave myself 5 1/2 more years until I have to update that again. Now let me get back to my tumbleweed infested personal life full of 12 ounce girlfriends. Is there a book called “janice reply for dummies” her’s was kinda long. I’ll check the book store on the way home. I just got paid time and a half to post that. Hurray, have a good weekend eeerbody!!!
Sean I’m right here! Do you think I can’t read your replies??!! 🙂 Didn’t you know I started the whole Dummies series about everything??!! Except darts. Got nuttin’ there.
Yes I very much agree with your thoughts in these areas.
Take Good Care
Like “they” say everyone has to find their own way.Locked in are not I believe Jim has found his way. If we keep on reading this blog I think it will help all of us find our way.
When it came to my children, they didn’t seem old enough at any age to be ready for marriage. This was hilarious considering that I was 18 and Mike was 19 when we got married. My parents thought it wouldn’t last but my older sisters were each married and divorced twice and Mike and I will be married 40 years next June. I think you need to marry your friend and know that some days love may be faded and if you can’t summon up the love then you need to summon up patience and work to endure until the love returns. That is unless cruelty is involved.
And I agree with Janice!
You are very wise Jim.A lot of truth in what you say. I have to say though, that there are exceptions, I met my best friend and love of my love at age 15. We were married at 20 and have celebrated 46 years of happy marriage. I agree with Susan marriage takes patience and faith.
Also, speaking of faith, the one thing I would add to your list of things for happiness would be faith. No matter what is happening in my life, having faith that God will bring us through and sustain us, has given me peace of mind.
I enjoy reading your blogs. You are a deep thinker.
Jim,
This is definitely one of my favorites blogs!! Health, family, finances, and faith — not necessarily in that order — affect us on so many levels. For me, family has consistently hit me the hardest. Marrying your best friend, at any age, is always good. So glad you were there when I married mine! Can’t wait for the next installment of “irrelevant babbling”.
Ann
Jim
The only segment of your blog I may disagree with are your thoughts on “early marriage”.
Mom and I had what could be considered an early marriage,and it resulted in 6 wonderful,
talented,intelligent,thoughtful children.Mom and I were still young enough to enjoy you guys
(camping,travelling,sports,etc.)
Keep up the “babbling”—-it’s great stuff!!
Love
Dad
I look around and see marriages that started as teenagers and last forever. I, also, see marriages that started later in life fail. Ken and I have almost 37 years together – we married @ 26 years old. Attitude plays such an important role in our relationships and in our life. Hope, Faith and Love are my 3 favorite words. I agree with your way of thinking on this topic.
Your blogs reveal your fantastic attitude – I look forward to your next blog.
Jim, I will comment on the fish in the pond. We closed up the trick or treating at 8 on Halloween and when I got up in the moring all my fish were dead. Someone thought it would be funny to put soap in the pond and the bubbles where impressive and it is now easy to count my fish. Enjoy yours.
Jim,
I agree that in today’s world “kids” should wait at least until 30 to get married. Live life, have fun, get your degrees and decide what you want to do when you grow up. This is easy for me to say with a 20-year old and a 16-year old. Back in the day(sorry Uncle Jim , mom and dad) life was simpler, not easier, just simpler. Many marriages of that time withstood the test of time. Congrats to those couples, they deserve alot of praise. I got married when I was 30 and had kids at 30 and 34 and I still feel pretty immature at 50. Thanks as always for giving me something to read and enjoy. “everybody got time for that!”