Today, August 3 around 10pm, marks 10 years since Jim’s stroke. One decade. I wouldn’t have imagined Jim nor I would still have our sanity (and that’s debatable!) ten years later. On August 5th, Jim came out of his coma and we learned that his mind was perfectly fine (he totally beat the odds on this day). On August 6th, his brother-in-law Roy passed away. This family had been body-slammed. Jim was fighting for his life while Roy was losing his. Talk about a three-day emotional roller-coaster: fear, joy, grief, thankful, sad, scared. Roy was one of a kind and we miss him dearly.
There are things I remember in the last 10 years that will be forever imprinted on my brain, and most of those things don’t sting like they once did. With God’s mercy and time, I can see emotional healing that I couldn’t have imagined, even 5 years ago. It’s true that time goes by so very fast and in some ways, that is a blessing. I remember the day we came home from being in the hospital for 6 months after Jim’s stroke. We used a wheelchair-accessible cab to get home because we didn’t have our van yet. So the cab dropped us off and we made our way in the house, and after the initial emotional time was over, we literally looked at each other like ‘now what?’. I had NO idea how we would pass the days. I would work but I worried about Jim and how he would handle this. He didn’t have his computer yet. Therapists were going to come to the house, starting the next day. But this was today, early afternoon, and now what.
One of the ways I think of our situation, especially early on, is like walking through an unknown house or building with no power and all you have is a flashlight. If you go slow, you probably won’t hurt yourself but if you rush or try too hard, you might run into something or fall. Both ways are scary, no doubt, and our instinct is to hurry out of fear. None of us know what is around the corner in this life. I’ve had to learn to go slow (sometimes I don’t have a choice), and I’ve learned that slow is okay. And most times that flashlight is all I need; I don’t need all the lights in the house on because I really just need to see what’s right in front of me, not a mile ahead. All of our family and friends (YOU!) are like flashlights in our lives. When we are having a bad time, inevitably someone calls/texts/emails to say hi, to light up that area right in front of us. Thank you for that. Thank you for loving us and showing us that we aren’t alone in the big, dark house. And Jim, thank you for not giving up on yourself in the last 10 years, when that would have been perfectly acceptable. May God bless you all . . . and may you always have a bright flashlight to light your way.
lockedinjim 
Beautifully written Jen! there is no doubt in my mind you and Jim are the most amazing people I know. I admire your love, strength and courage. Love you guys so much!
What a beautiful blog entry today, Jen! You both are like shining stars to many, many people and you often “light the way” for others. Love you both on this milestone day.
You both are amazing people!…just sayin’!
Your post is very touching, and I always look forward to reading your and Jim’s posts. You are both an inspiration to me. Even though you may not know it, you both have touched many lives that you may not be aware of. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for sharing! Your post shows so much insight and wisdom. I love reading the posts from you and Jim. Than you for being the flashlight in our lives!
Jim and Jen – you already know I think the world of you – you are an inspiration to so many – family, friends and even strangers – you have touched so many lives. And I am so grateful to YOU for the support you’ve given me and my crazy crew over the past 10 years! Love you –
What a beautiful post! You two are both the coolest people I know. Granted, I only know about 12 people—but you are the tops.
Jen and Jim, thanks for sharing your lives with us over the years, inspirational for sure; love you guys!
Although I had not met either of you ten years ago, I can’t tell you how fortunate I feel today to consider you both wonderful friends! Jim and Jen, you both inspire me, love you guys. 💕
Jim and Jen. I love your blog! I have to repeat what’s already been said. You two are such an inspiration to everyone who meets you! Christ’s light shines brightly through you! Love you guys! Can’t wait for care group to start again!
Wow, just wow! God speaks so clearly through you and Jim, I am so humbled by your words
Thank you for sharing.
The strength, patience, resourcefulness, humor and love you two exude inspire and humble me as well. Thank you for sharing your journey, and I love the flashlight analogy! Even though I never see you, know that your frequently in my thoughts and always in my prayers. XOXO
Beautifully written.
Sweetheart, you have a magic of putting thoughts to words – that is a GIFT. No way can I begin to imagine you and Jim’s past 10 years. I do see a beautiful couple, each dependent on the other, thank goodness you have each other. That is a solid marriage and bond, a true gift from above. Please know you can call, text, email anytime – you two are the best! Thanks for being such a significant part of my life. Wrapping my arms around you right now!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jen & Jim,
Sorry I am so long responding to this email. One might think we didn’t love you so very much and so very thankful for you both. We are so thankful that you chose (probably a God thing) our Care Group in which to be a part. You have enriched our lives more than you could realize. Hope to see you soon. Big hugs to both of you.
Hi Jim and Jen. I recently met both of you while your Dad was temporarily getting therapy where I work and I was blessed to be one his therapists. Our ( you, Jen and me) encounter was brief and I doubt that I impressed you much however I want you to know how much you have affected me. After that day, your Dad told me more about you and your blog. I started reading it this past Tuesday after work. Wow ! Your story is heart wrenching and beautiful at the same time. Your blogs are insightful, funny, and enlightening, I must thank you for opening my eyes and heart . I now look at my patients in a totally new way because of you. Thank you for helping me to become a better therapist. And I apologize for not standing in front of you that day since I now know you probably couldn’t see me as I was to your right side. I’ve begun reading your posts from the beginning and I agree with so many who say what a gift you have for writing. Your story and your your blogs would make an awesome book. I hope you continue your blogs for years to come.
A marvelous blog entry, with a marvelous image of a flashlight in a darkened house. I will be applying the flashlight image to a lot of my endeavors.
Jen – what a beautiful message. Both you and Jim are so inspiring to others. Thanks for always being a flashlight to some many others.