Over the years, a lot of people have asked me how I go about using my switch, which, in turn, controls my computer, allowing me to “speak” and do other things (text, email, use the internet, watch stuff, listen to books and music – basically anything you can do on a laptop.) Actually, pretty close to zero people have asked me about that, but I wanna talk about it anyway.

For a couple weeks after my stroke, the only thing I was able to do was move my eyes up and down. Then, after that and for the next few months, I could voluntarily blink my eyelids shut. Probably after about four months, I found that I could move my right index finger back and forth a little bit. A year later, my neck started coming back to life some and I could kinda turn my head left and right. That was a big deal for me because half the time, the right side of my head, including my ear, would be buried in my pillow, headrest or whatever high-back chair I was sitting in at the time. That was bad because the hearing in my left ear is pretty muffled and things like conversations, radio and TV were hard to hear. Being able to turn my head to the left so I could get my right ear in the game was a medium-sized victory!

I mentioned how the ability to move my finger returned. When that happened, I remember thinking something like, ‘Pfft! Big deal, so I can wiggle my finger. Who cares?’ (that’s the G- Rated version.) I had that dismissive attitude about it because at the time, I was expecting that most, if not all, of my bodily functions (walking, talking, use of hands, etc.) would “wake up” and return. Well, that didn’t happen very quickly (aka, ever) and time passed by V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y. So long story short, some helpful therapists worked with me and showed how I could utilize that small movement in my finger to “click” a simple switch that’s wedged between my index and middle fingers. That switch is plugged into a regular laptop that has my communication software, called EZKeys, loaded on it and my computer also uses a regular Bluetooth speaker that enables me to “speak”. I’ve been using this setup ever since – it’s my link to the outside world. I’m not real sure of the timing on all this (do you remember, Jen?), but it was back in 2007-2008, probably.

That switch also enables me to drive my power chair, even though I don’t do that a lot. Sometimes I’ll go in and drive my chair when we go to Menards or Costco. I like those places because the aisles are nice and wide and they’re usually not very crowded when we go. That’s important because I have a tendency to plow into whatever is in my path. Years ago, we were at Schnucks one time, and my hand clamped down on my switch when I sneezed or coughed or something (it’s pretty sensitive) while the chair was “on” and in “drive” mode (should be called “Danger” mode). Anyway, Jen was about 8 feet away from me so she couldn’t get to the “kill” switch on my chair in time. So, I take off going full speed and smash into one of those giant produce tables where they put the apples, bananas and cantaloupes. My forward motion came to sudden and painful halt when my shins met the sharp bottom edge of the 6-ton fruit stand. I lost that battle, badly. Five minutes after we got home, I was on Amazon ordering a pair of shin guards like soccer players wear. I can laugh about it now, but I wasn’t laughing too hard then. I felt like I just got worked over by a couple little people with ballpeen hammers. It was just a freak accident. Kinda like the time when we went for a walk on our street one time and I got the bright idea to find out how fast my chair would really go (Answer?: fast, really fast). That’s a story for a different time, though, but spoiler alert: it also didn’t end well.

Now that I think of it, I should probably add “being able to wiggle my finger” to my Daily Affirmation list of things I’m grateful for. My stroke left me with a clear, unharmed head, and it left enough strength in my right hand so that I can do many of the things I could do before and it allows me to have a fair amount of independence. In short, I love Jen and our marriage is great and everything, but let’s be real here – a little “me” time can go a long way!


Den Traum leben,

– Jim