lockedinjim

OK I lied, I said I was gonna post again when I got my new system up and running but that hasn’t happened yet. Besides, I didn’t have much to talk about anyway. Well, a couple things worth sharing have happened recently. As for the new computer, it’s sitting there on the coffee table menacingly taunting me, waiting to strike!

For the third year in a row, we celebrated Thanksgiving over at my sister’s and her husband’s house. We started doing that a few years ago when my mom started to slow down a little and we wanted to give her a break from hosting a major holiday. She wasn’t too wild about the idea of giving that up and my sister wasn’t too wild about dealing with turkey and mashed potatoes preparation pressure but it all worked out.

This year was kind of bittersweet, it was the first big holiday we celebrated since Mom passed away last July. My sister Ellen (and Mike!) did a really cool thing for us this year. She went through all of my mom’s old recipes, most of which were handwritten, and picked out several of our favorites. Then she blew them up and had them imprinted on aprons for each of us. What a good idea! Jen and I think it’d be nice to start a new tradition to bring one of Mom’s dishes (whatever is printed on your apron) to a family gathering. The good news is that Bourbon Slush and Hot Hammies are in our future, the bad news is that we need to figure out how to make potato pancakes well enough so that they don’t just turn into a big pile of mush!

Barney’s a celebrity!
About a week or so ago, we went down to the Peabody to see the comedian Jim Gaffigan. He’s hilarious, he’s my favorite stand up comic. He’s as clever as Louis C.K. , but not nearly as blue. For example, his opening was: ‘Good to be in St. Louis… try the local cuisine… Toasted Ravioli. Are you guys using your deep fryers as toasters? … if you don’t eat them within 60 seconds they turn into rocks.’ Later on he goes ‘People always say ‘Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.’ Oh yeah? Well, I can think of about a thousand things.’

It was very cold the night we went, it got down to the twenties. Jen piled the layers on me, I didn’t get cold at all. I think only my eyes were exposed. I looked like the Michelin Man or Ralphie’s little brother in A Christmas Story. We parked on the street in a metered spot about two blocks away. By the way, does anyone know when you’re supposed to feed the meters? I know they changed it recently to include Saturdays, but I really don’t know what the rules are.

Anyway – the next morning when we got moving and turned on the radio, the commentator was saying that when he walked over to the hockey game from the station he walked past a minivan with a bumper sticker on the rear window that read ‘I used to be cool’. That was us! Barney made the radio!

I told Jen that I was running out of stuff to write about and she suggested I tell people about that horrible movie I dragged us to last Monday afternoon that gave her nightmares. (Actually, she said it much nicer than that and she didn’t really have nightmares – she just pretty much blocked it out!) She did, however, burn up some valuable vacation time.
12 Years a Slave is a heartwarming story about a man from Massachusetts who gets kidnapped, torn from his family, imprisoned, beaten and sold into slavery who ultimately ends up becoming the “property” of a harsh and half crazy plantation owner and struggles to survive for more than a decade in The Middle of Nowhere, AL (or was it Mississippi?) In the one particularly brutal and violent scene, Jen actually got up and left the theater.

Even though it was hard to watch at times, it really was a good movie and I bet the lead actor (what’s-his-name) wins an Oscar. While this wacky romp about racism and human bondage wasn’t quite as funny as Schindler’s List, it was every bit as heavy as Saving Private Ryan , but I don’t think it’s destined to become the next feel-good holiday family classic.

Cover me, I’m going in
Well, we bit the proverbial bullet and ordered a new computer and brand new communication hardware/software for me to start using. We should get it all next week, I’m expecting the learning curve to be very small and that things will go smoothly. I’m also fairly confident that I’ll be in a triathlon very soon and that Lady Gaga will be the next Secretary of State. In other words, things are about to get a little tense around here in the next week or so!

Part of my old job was to help introduce a new computer system to people that generally didn’t want or ask for it. Nevertheless, they just had to muster the courage to take the bull by the horns and figure it out. It wasn’t like they really had a choice anyway! Besides, they were all gonna be better off in the long run. I’m sure I will be too.

Hilarious clip of the week –
We saw this the other night and it just laid us out!:

Talk to you later from the “other” side!…

Jim

Those of you that have seen me since my stroke can tell, ‘Something is wrong with that guy.’ My face is completely void of expression and is totally paralyzed. It’s like I’m wearing a mask or something. Nobody, unless your last name is Kardashian, likes to see their image in a photograph or their face in a mirror for a prolonged period of time. I’m no different – especially nowadays. We have a decorative mirror on the wall in our bedroom, I roll past it every morning in the Hoyer lift when I get out of bed. Occasionally, I catch a glimpse of myself and I don’t like what I see. I think, ‘Who’s that guy? The one with the completely deadpan look on his face? He kinda looks like me.’

Jen knows my face very well though. She can tell what kind of mood I’m in or if something is irritating me, like an itch or something, just by glancing at me. I don’t know how she does it. It’s like she can read my mind or something. Maybe all married couples are like that. You’d think you could hide behind Locked-In Syndrome every once in a while, what’s it good for anyway?!
_________

Wish I had stock in the makers of Kanka
At this time of year, just days before Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of all the things I am thankful for: good health, family, friends, country, etc. It’s easily one of my favorite holidays, hands down. I just wish it was in a better month. November, in a word, blows. What was Abe Lincoln thinking? Anyway, I like Thanksgiving so much for the noble reasons I just mentioned but if I’m honest with myself, those things are in front of my mind IN ADDITION TO knowing that I’m about to chow down on a really awesome feast!

How does that one saying go?: ‘But before the grace of God go I’. Something like that. That’s how I feel about being able to sort of eat even just a little bit. A lot of people in a situation similar to mine can’t eat at all, they haven’t tasted food or drink in a long, long time. I can’t imagine what that must be like.

Jen purees all my food for me in a little blender because I can’t control my jaw at all in order to chew. She does a great job with it and makes sure it doesn’t have any big chunks in there – I choke easily – but just in case, she went and took a course on how to do the Heimlich maneuver on someone in a wheelchair. I’m not sure how it all works but I think it involves a round-house kick to the stomach. Let’s just hope I never need it!

Like I said, I know I’m very fortunate that I am able to eat at all and I don’t want to come off sounding ungrateful, but that blessing can sometimes be a curse. Here’s why: Since I have very little control over my jaw and mouth area in general, it always seems like I’m always biting something no matter how careful I am. I have a perpetual canker sore that moves around from the inside of my cheek, to my upper lip then to my tongue. I’ve cussed out my teeth many times, any more they’re just for show but Boy – they sure know how to inflict pain!

My computer went belly up right after breakfast and a 13-minute coughing fit (which turned out to be the highlight of my day). So after my panic attack subsided a little we called the computer repair shop we had gone to a couple times in the past for some advice:

Jen: Help! We got the Barack Obama child pornography thing. What do we do?
Computer Guy: I heard about that virus, bummer. There really isn’t anything we can do for it. The only thing we can do for you is wipe the hard drive clean and reinstall
Windows 7. That’d cost you between $150-$200. In most cases, people just pay the $300 to the scammers to unlock their computer.
Jen: Uh, OK. Thanks for the help! Bye.
Me: Um… Not gonna happen and – Over my dead, lifeless body!

I spent the rest of the day messing around with my old Windows XP machine I use as a backup (thank God I have that!) and trying not let myself get too aggravated about the whole situation. I’ve never been a violent person but boy, was I seeing red! I often found myself wishing that I could get my hands (if they actually worked) on whoever was responsible for my grief and teach them a lesson. Then I remembered one of our Bible study meetings – in it we talked about the quote from God that goes ‘Vengeance is mine!’ Being the biblical scholar that I am, I’m not sure about the chapter or verse – or even what book it’s from, but I’m 99.9% positive it’s from the Old Testament. It’s got an OT feel to it, anyway. I always thought it was kind of a harsh sounding and tough talking thing for God to say until our group leader (a guy who’s forgotten more about the Bible than I’ll ever know) gave us his interpretation. It went something like: ‘What He’s saying is, ‘Vengeance is mine, not yours. Doling out the justice is my job, not yours. You should just run along, I’ll take care of this.’’ (or something like that.) Whew! What a load off my back! Now I can quit fantasizing about catching and punishing a bunch of vicious and destructive computer nerds. Nobody wants to be some sort of vigilante crime-fighter anyway, running around in a leotard and a cape all day – no thanks. Besides, it takes a lot of negative energy to carry that much animosity for or hold a grudge against someone. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

— Shameless product endorsement —
I use an online backup service from Carbonite. For me, using it or something like it is a must since I rely so heavily on my computer and its files. It runs in the background and continuously backs up my files to its secure servers using the internet. It costs about $80/yr., I think it’s worth every penny because it gives me so much peace of mind.
— End commercial —

By the time I went to bed that night, I was pretty much resigned to the fact that I was going to be getting a completely new system. A whole new setup? Yikes! That meant brand new communication hardware and software to learn! A new computer! (gulp) Windows 8! Oh well. What are you gonna do? I’ve been hem-hawing around about doing a major upgrade for the past six months and I guess this was just the kick in the pants I needed to get moving on it – as much as I didn’t feel like it.

The next day we hit the stores in search of a new computer. Have you been to the new H.H.Gregg store up by Mid Rivers Mall next to Costco? Well, if you’re wanting to check it out sometime you might want to go up there sooner rather than later. We were there on Saturday afternoon and it was fairly deserted. I’m afraid that it’ll end up going down the same path that Ultimate Electronics and Circuit City did, but what do I know?

Jen saves the day (again)
Anyway, by that night I was all bummed out and dejected so I just laid in bed and watched the latest episode of Dracula. I think it’s probably a chick show but I don’t care, I happen to like it. Even though I threw in the towel, Jen didn’t. She Google’d the problem I was having and found that the virus was pretty widespread. People explained how they got around the problem by entering safe mode, manually launching Windows and then running an anti-virus program to remove it. Long story short, she performed CPR on my laptop and brought it back to life to fight another day. She beat that virus like it owed her money!

It seems to me that she’s done something like this before for me but I can’t remember the details. It’s probably about time I give her a raise, though. She deserves it!

Ohh! You mean a computer virus. Yeah sure, I caught one of those. A big, fat, hairy, nasty and malicious one. Much like getting the flu shot and then a new and improved strain slips by and gives you the flu, no matter how diligent I am about running several types of anti-virus programs (currently 4) every week, ultimately I end up getting bit. It’s just a question of how bad – and this was a bad one.

I was just sitting there minding my own business and typing away at my usual rate of 4 wpm when the virus “woke up” and pretty much turned my laptop into a boat anchor. I had just finished downloading Windows updates (Coincidence? Hmm… maybe) when everything went haywire – my desktop and all my icons went away and was replaced with a screen I couldn’t get past.

The screen was fairly “official-looking”. The banner across the top had pictures of the American flag, a bald eagle and Barack Obama. This has to be legit, right? After reading the first couple lines I figured it had to be a scam (at least I hoped so). It said that the “Dept. of Homeland Security Anti-Crime Unit” (even sounds hokey) was taking over and restricting access to my computer. Damn. What’d I do now? Apparently, they found that I’d been busy downloading loads of pornographic images involving children and filling up my hard drive with it – and they weren’t having any of it. Man, I’m sorry, I didn’t even know I was doing that.
Who am I, Pete Townsend? (The slightly weird lead guitarist for The Who who got busted in the mid 90’s after police found hordes of child pornography on his computer. He claimed it was on there because he needed it for “research” for a book he was writing. Sure Pete, I completely understand. Now, please turn around and put your hands behind your back You have the right to remain silent…)
All would be forgiven if I agreed to pay them a fine and fee of $300, then they would unlock my computer. No harm, no foul. Well, now we’re getting somewhere! I guess you can have child porn just laying around all over the place as long as you can cover the $300. Somehow , that doesn’t pass the ‘Smell’ test.

So, with my screen dark and my computer basically kaput, needless to say the mood around here got a little – tense. I can physically survive without my laptop but it’s just about as important to me as, say, one of my kidneys. It’s one thing to be sitting in church or a movie theater without it, but it’s another thing to be sitting around in “My Spot” in the kitchen or on the deck for 8 hours a day, every day without it.

Who does this stuff anyway? I picture a bunch of computer geeks hiding out in the dark of their parents’ basement where they live trying to figure out ways to make the rest of us miserable. (Actually, that’s not fair to computer geeks – I know a few of them and they’re not like that.) Why don’t they go outside and feel the sun? Go bike riding or shoot baskets – or better yet, ask an actual girl for a date for the first time now that you’ve reached your 30th birthday and leave us alone!

Do you know who Phil is on Duck Dynasty? He’s one of the older guys. Not Uncle Si, the other guy – the patriarch of the family. Well, he doesn’t own a cell phone and has never used a computer. In fact, he doesn’t have any use for anything invented after about 1947. There are a few times (very few) where I wished I didn’t rely on modern technology so much, like him. This would be one of those times.

Wow! It looks like my “short story” is gonna be a “short novel”. So –

to be continued…

Much like the Armchair Quarterback, the guy who coaches his team every Sunday from the recliner in the living room while drinking beer and eating potato chips – I consider myself to be the Wheelchair Philosopher, the guy who’s sat around in his kitchen every day for the last seven years and thinks he knows a lot about life.

Here are a few of the things bouncing around in my head besides “Who’re the coaches gonna be on The Voice next season?” and “I wonder how many goldfish we have in our pond nowadays?”:

What’s the rush? The altar isn’t going anywhere
As a general rule of thumb, I think that young people should wait to get married until they’re in their late twenties or even early thirties. I feel that a marriage has a better chance of being “good” when the people going into it are pretty mature. Years ago, Jen and I ran into this girl at the baseball game that she went to high school with – Jen recently heard that she had just gotten divorced for the 3rd time before the age of 40! Talk about bad luck – yikes! As with any rule there are some exceptions, of course. I’m sure there are some 21 year olds out there that are old souls and are perfectly suited to enter into a marriage. The bad thing is that the older I get, the younger they seem. They’re just children! Generally speaking, I feel that people should wait until they’re older to get married.

Personally speaking, I didn’t get married until I was 35 which was probably a little late (just ask Jen!). Hey, it wasn’t my fault that it took forever to meet my wife! Using my clock I’d have had started a family at age 57 and my kids would be getting out of high school when I’m in my late seventies. I’d be ready for the nursing home in a few years probably and I want my kids to put me in a really nice (expensive) one but , they’re not old enough yet to be able to afford my tastes! I’d better revisit my plan.

Another problem with my philosophy – I like seeing young married couples with a handful of little kids. I think it’s great for kids to have parents that are youthful and energetic enough to be able to a lot of things with them. The problem is, you can’t (shouldn’t) really start a family at 23 and then not get married until you’re 31. It’s a ‘Catch-22’ situation. Looks like I might have to change my line of thinking.

—Commercial break—
We heard this the other day and it just cracked us up. It’s my new favorite phrase: On the radio Randi Naughton said, ‘I’m so sick of hearing about Justin Bieber, he needs to drive the bus on the Go Away Tour.’

And we’re back. OK, where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about leading a happy life. On that subject, these are my:

Keys to Happiness??

Health: You know the saying ‘At least I’ve got my health.’? Well, I think there’s a lot of truth to that. Everything in your life can be going great but if you’re seriously ill and feel like crap all of the time then that really doesn’t matter.

Relationships: If you have a terrible marriage or don’t get along with your kids or other loved ones, then that takes front and center stage in your life. No matter how good everything else is going for you, that seems to be all you think and talk about – it totally hijacks your life.

Financial Well-being: Living hand to mouth and barely scraping by to pay the bills takes its toll on people and will run their lives. Constantly barely getting by can make an otherwise happy person unhappy.

I feel that if these three things are firing on all cylinders for someone then that person can be considered to be “Happy”.

Yeah, I realize I’m coming off sounding like Mr. Know-it-all. Like I said though, I have a ton of time on my hands so I can just sit around and wonder about stuff. Having this blog gives me a forum to express my thoughts and put some of them down on “paper”.

So, what do you all think about this stuff? Do you agree with what I said? Some of it? None of it? Am I completely off base? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

This is just a hodge-podge of Random Thoughts that I wanted to write down. You might find it interesting or you might not.

“Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
I don’t spend a lot of time jacking around on the internet but I have heard about a few things (videos) that just cracked me up. On YouTube, search for this video using the above search string – it’s hilarious. While you’re there, search for “Crazy Badass Honey Badger” – also hilarious. ***WARNING*** This video is Rated R.

What to do today – movie or book?
The inability to speak is one thing I have in common with the late Roger Ebert. Also, we’ve both seen a boatload of movies. Our similarities pretty much stop right there. He was a great film critic while I’m just a guy who’s seen a bunch of movies.

I don’t know any book critics, I don’t know if I would have anything in common with any of them. Besides, I doubt that the masterpieces of literature I tend to like are very heavily reviewed anyway.

At any rate, I’ve listed some of the books and movies I’ve enjoyed in the past year or so thinking you might like some of them. I never realized how much garbage I listened to and watched until I waded through all my crap to come up with this list!

Movies & TV Shows
Unstoppable
Flight
Smashed
Django
Zero Dark Thirty
The Place Beyond the Pines
Gravity
Captain Phillips
Life of Pi
Seven Psychopaths
Bernie
In Bruge
The Descendants
Homeland
Boardwalk Empire
Nurse Jackie
Sherlock
The Big C
Breaking Bad
The Walking Dead
Shameless
The Sopranos

Books
Joe Pickett series
Virgil Flowers series
Calico Joe
The Storyteller
Gone Girl
Sutton
Those Across the River
Escape from Camp 14
Defending Jacob
Steve Jobs

On the rare occasion when I actually get out of the van and go in Costco or wherever with Jen when we run errands, we undoubtedly run across (not literally)  a small child or two.  When we do, almost always kids never fail to be kids and they gawk or point at me, while their mothers apologetically pull them away, because in most cases they’ve never seen a guy in a wheelchair before and they’re just naturally curious and are (sometimes) brutally honest!  It doesn’t bother or offend me at all, in fact, I try to have fun with it.  As best as I can and with Mommy not looking, I try to make a face and snarl at them.  This usually earns me a shoulder jab from Jen who says, ‘Quit scaring that little kid and trying to make him cry!’

Not everyone who sees and is unintimidated by us is 5 years old.  One time several years ago at Costco (yes, in fact that is my favorite place – great big wide aisles), this elderly woman approached us and asked all sorts of questions about my very obvious condition and how our lives have been affected.  I started to yell at her to mind her own damn business but Jen stopped me before I really got irate.  Actually, neither one of us mind talking to anyone who asks us about our situation, Locked-In Syndrome, strokes, etc.  Turns out, that lady was a retired ICU nurse and she was very comfortable around me and probably with many people with all kinds of conditions.

Another time we were in Costco (yes, Costco), and this lady walked up to me and started telling me about how her friend was in a situation similar to mine, etc., etc., etc.  It was one of those rare times when I was left alone in public, Jen went down an aisle by herself to look for something.  Anyway, I felt bad for this lady because she didn’t realize right away that I couldn’t talk.  She asked me a couple questions and was left befuddled by the weirdo in the wheelchair who was blinking his eyes like a psycho.  Jen returned momentarily, took the words out of my mouth and restored order to my world.

—Full Disclosure—
Alright alright, time to come clean.  Big, wide open aisles aren’t the only reason I like Costco.  They happen to have a great selection of good quality, fresh cut flowers.  At least compared to the other two places we frequent often – Shop n’ Save and Wal-Mart.  OK, go ahead and laugh.  I happen to like fresh flowers.  Hey, if I have to sit here all day then the kitchen is gonna smell nice and I want something to look at from time to time besides the backyard.  Locked-In Syndrome has to be good for something! 

Speaking of LIS being good for something, when I do decide to go into the store we get a really good parking spot thanks to the ADA of 1990 (Americans with Disabilities Act).  Several years ago Jen and I went on a field trip down to the History Museum in Forest Park.  They were having an exposition showing the history of people with disabilities in this country, highlighting the ADA.  It was pretty interesting I guess but it was awful hard to maneuver in there and I’m fairly certain that some of the other visitors thought I was one of the exhibits!  My main takeaway from that was that you were better off to have a brainstem stroke in 2006 than to be born with polio in 1926.

Overall, dealing with the general public…  well…  sucks  (I should know, like most people I’ve worked in Retail).  90% of the people we encounter think we’re invisible and just ignore us (we’re perfectly OK with that), 9% of the people go out of their way to avoid us and uncomfortably look away but the remaining handful of people actually engage us in conversation and hold doors open for us.  I feel that the reason why a lot of people distance themselves from people who use wheelchairs is because they’re not used to being around people like me very often.  That’s probably because getting out and going places is kind of a big production for us, I don’t just hop in the car and run up to QT in five minutes.  (Sidenote:  How did any of us survive Christmas shopping in the pre-internet era?  How miserable was that?) 

 I’m starting to ramble now and I just checked the title of this post to see what it is even about so I guess that’s my cue to wrap it up and quit imitating a Chatty Cathy doll.  Talk to you later!

 

Jen and I came home 6½ years ago after spending six months in the hospital in a taxicab.  Who knew that they had handicap accessible taxis?  Not me.   A few days later my dad and uncle brought us our van Barney which was awesome because I seriously doubt that we, or anyone else, could afford or want to take cabs everywhere.  We use it at least three times a week.

One of the first things I saw when we got home was this gigantic ramp that my brother built going into our house.  He did a great job with it!  It’s very solid and structurally sound like everything he builds.  You could park a truck on it.  It looks as good today as it did the day he built it.  He also built one at his house, my sister’s house and my parents’ house.  Not sure when he found the time with his and his family’s busy schedules.  Seeing it for the first time was a little shocking and bittersweet because – well, somebody in that house needs a wheelchair ramp and that ain’t good.  And that somebody is me.  Bummer.

After we got in and got as settled as much we could, we took a breath and looked around and I asked Jen,’ Now what?’.  We didn’t really know what to do exactly because for so long we had doctors, nurses and therapists looking after and taking care of us and suddenly we were on our own.  We were pretty unsure about the future, all that we were certain of was that there was a cool ramp out in the garage, a hospital bed in the living room and that we were gonna face it together.

I’ve found myself in a similar place when it comes to writing this Blog:  Now what?  When I started this four months ago the idea was to talk about and explain certain stuff we deal with living with Locked-In Syndrome.  I’ve pretty much touched on everything that’s happened that’s somewhat noteworthy in our lives during the past seven years.  The only thing left to talk about are the things that go on in our daily lives.  And believe me – that ain’t much!  In other words, it’s about to get REAL up in here.  Real boring, that is.

I want to keep this blog ‘active’ because I sure do enjoy writing stuff.  As long as some of you read it, I’d be happy to create an entry from time to time.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ll talk about one of the occasional good books or movies I run across or discuss one of the three or four observations and ‘deep thoughts ‘ I have about life in general!

 

As of right now, it’s the day after watching that 3 Ring Circus known as Game 1 of the World Series.  The Cardinals withstood (and brought on themselves) a major beatdown at the hands of the Boston Red Sox.  Of course, by the time I finish writing this they’ll probably be up in the Series 3-1, in which case – nevermind, it’s all good, you can stop reading my little rant now and just move on with your day.  Until then, I’ll continue my whine and my meal of sour grapes.  Also, a personal disclaimer,  I don’t ‘hate’ anyone, I wasn’t brought up that way.  A strong disliking – well, that’s another story.  I really ‘dislike’ the Yankees and the Dodgers, and the Red Sox run a very close third place.

Since they’re all complete strangers, for all I know they’re a bunch of great guys, donating a ton of their time and money to help sick kids when they’re not busy volunteering  at their church.  I think I’ll just keep pretending that they’re a bunch of pretty-boy prima donnas, it’ll make writing this a lot easier!

First of all, I’m feeling like I need a shave about every 10 minutes when I watch a WS game.  I’m already sick of seeing all of the ridiculously stupid beards all the players grew.  Johnny Gomes, their left fielder, looks like one of the dwarves from that movie The Hobbit  (not that I’m actually gonna see this movie.  I mean, C’mon.) or the Traveling Gnome from the Travelocity commercials.  And Mike nappy-beard Napoli is in those ‘Messin’ with Sasquatch’ ads.  He looks like one of the Duck Dynasty guys.  Some guys look good in beards and can pull them off.  Not these chowda’ heads.

Secondly, I realize that Fenway Park is rich in tradition and history and blah, blah, blah, but as a 21st Century ballpark it flat out sucks.  The only other park that comes to mind that was built way back then is also a terrible major league baseball stadium – Wrigley Field.  It features a solid brick and camouflaged wall in the outfield.  Could it be any more dangerous?  Unlike Wrigley, when the owners of the Red Sox built Fenway just after the turn of last century they didn’t want their neighbors to be able to peer in and watch the games for free.  Their solution?  Build an enormous 37’ wall in the outfield to block their view.  Apparently, the neighbors just beyond right field had little interest in baseball because they built a wall just tall enough for outfielders to either flip over or seriously harm their ribcage on when chasing down a fly ball.  Also, I’m not positive about this but I’m pretty sure that the other 29 ballparks throughout major league baseball don’t allow fans to sit in the ‘Batter’s Eye’ area out in center field.  Not Fenway though.  They managed to cram a seat into every available area, including the ones smack dab behind support columns that hold up the upper deck.  Can you imagine paying $750 for a World Series ticket only to find yourself sitting in a seat that doesn’t let you see the action?  What a stupid park.

And finally, this doesn’t have anything to do with Boston but it is World Series related, know what else hacks me off?  Tim McCarver.  For some reason that guy just gets on my nerves.  He always sounds negative about the Cardinals, it’s not the current team’s fault that he was traded away from St. Louis to Philadephia, in 1969.  Freakin’ get over it.  Know how I came up with that theory?  You guessed it – talk radio.  He reminds me of our local color guy, Al Hrabosky.  I’m sure that he too said one or two dumb things at one time.  Now he sounds stupid every time he opens his mouth, even though he’s probably forgotten more about baseball than I’ll ever know.  By the way, did you know that Cardinals first baseman Matt Adams went to college in Slippery Rock, PA?  Know why I know that?  Because Tim McCarver told me about it 17 times.  Who cares!?!  Did you also know that I went to UMSL about 25 years ago?  Great.  Let’s all move along now.  Tim has some more inconsequential tidbits of information he wants to share with us.

Whew!  (Deep breath.)  Do I feel better now.  Am I totally a hometown sports team fan?  Definitely.  Do I have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to either coast?  Yep.  Do I use this blog as my own personal soapbox so I can rant and rave about whatever is currently ticking me off?  Occasionally!